There are some days where I just want to scream and then there are days where everything is going great. Today is one of those days that is somewhere in between.
I still can’t believe that bitch had the nerve to email me for a fundraiser walk even after I made it clear I am not planning on talking to her again. She led me on, took me for granted, flaked out, and withheld information for her benefit. I wound up losing some opportunities to spend time with others for that woman. Now, I get the occasional reminder of what I missed out and sometimes it does bother if not hurt me.
That night at the botched open bar was just unpleasant. I was upset over being led on, the low turnout, the prospect of returning to Quebec, and suspecting the worst in missing out. I pushed the self-destruct button on myself and it frankly scared the crap out of my co-workers. One of them thinks I am francophobic while the other thinks I am unstable. Either way its not good.
Right now, I am not sure if I am dating or just hanging out with some girls. I can relate better to one but she seems to be at that “party/boozing” phase of her life while the other is cute but seems a bit unhappy and looking for security at that point of her life. I think I may become good friends with one while the other could be pulling my string (though I hope its not the case).
I should stop going to these meetups. Most of them are populated by girls in their late 20s or early 30s and mostly filled with strange guys. Sunday’s meetup was no exception. It too bad I didn’t get too much time to talk with people I had intended to spend time with and that may work against me. Maybe I am overanalyzing the situation and I may be one of the more normal guys at that meetup.
I need to go out. This surbuban lifestyle is stifling.